{"product_id":"i-protest-i-am-not-a-merry-man","title":"I Protest! I Am Not A Merry Man.","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people bring party energy. Others bring… honorable restraint.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis waterproof vinyl sticker celebrates one of the most relatable declarations in sci-fi history — perfect for anyone who has ever been forced into festivities, small talk, or activities that lacked proper dignity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEqual parts stoic and unintentionally hilarious, it’s a must-have for fans who appreciate warrior pride, formal protest, and making it very clear that merriment is not mandatory. Add it to your laptop, water bottle, journal, notebook, console, or anywhere you want to quietly signal your stance on forced fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDimensions:\u003cbr\u003e• 2.5 x 3.5 inches\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDetails:\u003cbr\u003ePrinted on high-quality vinyl sticker paper and sealed with a waterproof transparent laminate for durability, vibrant color, and long-lasting wear. Hand-wash recommended for best results.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDelivery:\u003cbr\u003e• Ships via USPS standard letter mail to keep shipping costs low\u003cbr\u003e• Orders ship within 3 business days (unless otherwise noted)\u003cbr\u003e• Once shipped, I’m not responsible for postal delays, but I’m always happy to help if there’s an issue — just reach out!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for supporting a small business! This is an independent, fan-made parody item and is not affiliated with or endorsed by any official franchise, trademark, or copyright holder. Qapla’.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Wingardium Stickiosa","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45744649371839,"sku":null,"price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9259\/7695\/files\/20260212_133725_1.jpg?v=1781751527","url":"https:\/\/wingardiumstickiosa.com\/products\/i-protest-i-am-not-a-merry-man","provider":"Wingardium Stickiosa","version":"1.0","type":"link"}